"Die Like A Girl":A Sardonic ,Inverse Version of "Fight Like a Girl"


Inspired by both Emilie Autumn’s “Fight Like a Girl,” and her commentary on the brutish sexism of Pre-Raphealite paintings. As a form of pure hypocrisy  I happen to have the painting of the “Lady of Shalott,” serving as my undignified computer wallpaper. Given the below criticism, should I hide my head in shame? 
Die Like a Girl 

Come one, Come all
                   To the greatest theatrical show-
                   Invented by the demented minds of a true Opheliac
                   Tinkered by misery
                   Powered by Sadism and self-destruction
                    Appropriating the themes of Woebegone Mistresses
                    Plummeting to the depths
              Or should I say-their deaths?  
In appropriately vibrant-colored Pre-Raphealite  paintings
                    Filled with Verdant Leaves and variegated flowers
                     Suffused with the brimming life
         Of traditional pastoral poems
 As each of these victorian girls pant
                    Their dying breaths
                 –ACCEPT NO IMITATIONS
                 Die the royal, honorable way
                  Of a Wayward Victiorian Girl

   We have inimitable imitations of the Lady of Shalott
  Sinking herself in a boat with her artistic work
   Wrapped about her wan body-her majestic cloak
    Meticulously worked by her pallid, lifeless hands
      She envisioned knights, courtiers,
 Kings, queens, cherubic-faced children
      Graciously attending her funeral proceedings
     This was her moribund stunt-
 The Demise of an unnamed female artist

   Unparalleled by other artistic equals
   It is the shrewd mind of the gentry folk that conceived her pathetic
   Death as beautiful and aesthetically-pleasing
    Her befallen fate graces the walls of pretentious English professors offices
     Within and Without the world of academia
To die like her is to truly hate your female persona
And prize the male appreciation of your anonymous work
Above all else
Mask your art with the persona of a dainty “George Elliot”
Or an unassuming Curtier Bell
Never boast your real artistic, audacious alias of
 Such strong, sturdy women like Mary Shelley
Who would read the “Lady of Shalott” in a playful, nondefeating tone-
One used by a fine woman by the name of Anne Shirley

Do you feel spurned by men?
Come watch and gaze upon Ophelia
In this scene, she  recites poetry
Using a  semidetached tone to woo Hamlet one last time
WEAKNESS-A faint woman on the brink of slipping
An empty vessel that falls into strong currents of water
If unable to appease the interests of other men

Victorian men sigh and swoon
Conjuring up erotic portraits of such a fine damsel
Tragically falling to her death
The First Suicidal Girl
Spurned, Misunderstood repeatedly by
The historical romanticism surrounding
A grisly, visceral scene of
Yet it’s so artful, so genuinely Shakespearean
Let us appraise a woman’s misery with
Unconcerned eyes of artistic awe

I say- Never shall any of these damsels
View any tangible life beyond their
Tragic Objective of death
Look upon the Lady Macbeth, Ophelia, Juliet, and the Lady of Shalott
With pure,unadulterated shame
If all we see is poetry, we have never learned
About what it really means to “fight like a girl”
Which we have misconstrued to be
“Die Like a Girl”
The asylum’s legendary spectacle
Of doom and gloom ad infinitum


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