Ghostly Passion

Your thoughts, ideals, and faults
Conspire against my melancholy 
Your imagined soul; your incorporeal treasures
Mystifies me and grants me a distinct existence
Before I had only been a diaphanous form
Unseen and unrecognized by others and even myself
When you whisper my name to invoke my spirit,
My wits and consciousness are fused together
So that I’ll know you and myself
Yet, a great trepidation causes perdition to reclaim me
My devil entraps me in a tomb of self doubt
Where I forego thinking about you or myself
Reality becomes a pristine delusion which
Floats gently on this stream of forgotten conscience
In this self-conceived inferno,
Judas’s treacherous self resides within my core
While innumerable false selves march through my ruins
With both dignity and vainglory
Some projection of you
Pervades the indefinable Purgatory beyond this hell
Standing apprehensively upon the threshold between hell and purgatory,
I try to muster some determination
To verbalize the ineffability of my love for you
Inevitably, I keep falling from one ring to another
Till eventually I have succumbed to Judas’ deceit
In my mind, I struggle in vain to depict our paradise
Quickly my blistering reality of
Being spurned continuously by Judas’ venomous words returns
I struggle futilely to liberate myself from
My self-imposed exile from you
But, my inability to define my feelings about you
Keeps me imprisoned within this masochistic prison of mine
Inexplicably, I can tolerate the pain of being without you
Rather than be misunderstood
How can you expect me to love you?
Especially, when you have neglected to notice my torture
Can’t you hear my plaintive screams that can
Only be heard deep within my forgotten spirit?
Do you not love the disconsolate person I am without you?
Sometimes, I wonder if you are hiding beyond my shadow realm
 I fervently hope that you understand my persistent silence
Wrought by devastating fear of your lack of reciprocation
Hopefully, I can cleave to your spirit and
Ascend to the heavenly plane by
Entrusting you to uplift and appreciate my ghostly self

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